Monday, July 27, 2009

Finding the Mother in Me

I have been devouring a book called "The Mother In Me" it was given to me by a dear mother who has taught me so much. The book is compilation of poems, articles and short essays about mothering. I have been deeply moved by the sincerity of the woman who despite knowing our divine role as mothers all felt scared, unsure, and entirely inadequate at times. One common thread that weaves each of these mothers stories together is their feelings regarding Eve. The following is a quote from the article "Forty Weeks 'Til Spring" by Johanna Buchert Smith; "I wonder vaguely if Eve ever felt as I do. On some theoretical level I know I wanted this - even choose it - but did even Eve pause in her purposefulness when she realized the known world of her peaceful garden was now nonexsistent, that in choosing family, she chose to become part of the wildness of creation?"
I loved this intriguing question. Is it not vital for ourselves as mothers and women to realize that we were given this blessing, by a woman who stood so firm in her faith that she choose to know good from evil.
"And Eve, his wife, heard all these things and was glad, saying: Were it not for our transgression we never should have had seed, and never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth unto all the obedient. And Adam and Eve blessed the name of God, and they made all things known unto their sons and their daughters." Moses 5:11-12
I often wonder if we as women of faith and covenant, stop to assure our inner critics of the beauty and the power that we hold. We create and we nurture, we feed, we rescue and we teach day by day these beautiful children that we have been blessed with. At times I wish I could talk with the woman I was 3 1/2 years ago before giving birth to my three children, I would reminder her of all that she would be and all that she can be. I would tell her to remember all the woman who have gone before, to use the wisdom they hold as a balm of Gilead to soothe my own worries and fears. I love being a mother more then anything I have ever done. I was never really me until I gave birth to George, Jack and Eva.


Becca said...

Wow Sara, this was so profound. I am constantly amazed by motherhood and all that comes with it. I hadn't thought of it that way, but I think I agree that I was never really me until I was a mother. I think it's important to take a step back once and awhile from the diapers and the feedings and remind ourselves of how beautiful what we are doing truly is. Well said, friend.

Vanessa said...

That was so beautiful! It is such a great reminder now that I am near the end of this pregnancy. I really did want to do this, and I am so grateful for all that being a mother has taught me about God.

CatherineWO said...

What beautiful and insightful thoughts, Sara. It's wonderful that you have found your true self in mothering. I don't think I really reached that point until I became a grandmother. Thank you for sharing your feelings so freely.